IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some urban areas have vehicles-free days when their private vehicles are not allowed in the city centre and individuals are encouraged to use eco-friendly public transportation . I believe that it has enormous pros as compared to the cons because it promotes
healthy
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a healthy
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 environment and less congestion on the roads. First and foremost,
people
Use synonyms
 will have
clear
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a clear
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 and clean atmosphere and their surroundings as it will help in the reduction of harmful gases like carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide which are released from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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car combustion
as a result
Linking Words
, air pollution will be depleted.
People
Use synonyms
 will be able to take a breath
in
Change preposition
of
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fresh air
consequently
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, they become
health
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healthy
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 and fit .
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution has diminished
Change preposition
by upto
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upto
Correct your spelling
up to
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 70% during covid pandemic when
government
Add an article
the government
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 banned vehicles on the roads .
Secondly
Linking Words
, citizens are able to see less traffic and they will have less chance to stuck in the congestion on the roads. On the other
hands
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hand
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, it may cause
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of privacy and comfort zone .
People
Use synonyms
 have to wait in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long queues in order to catch public transportation like buses and
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 it will bring discomfort and uneasiness to their lives .
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
day
Add a comma
day,
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 they become exhausted and lethargic after
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
long working hours and commuting. Lack of privacy is another disadvantage that they will face .
Moreover
Linking Words
, some individuals have claustrophobia and it would be hard for them to travel with other masses .
For example
Linking Words
, as per
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 survey which has been conducted in 2023 in the USA explored that
people
Use synonyms
 who were commuting via public transportation have low energy levels.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that the advantages overweight the disadvantages as vehicles
free days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
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 have a tendency to recover the health and
environmental
Replace the word
environment
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 which are
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
imperative
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your essay presents an argument, but you should explain your ideas in more detail. Try to add more examples or explanations to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and stays focused on that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between your ideas to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You clearly present your opinion that benefits outweigh drawbacks, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, like air pollution during the pandemic, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vehicle-free days
  • public transport
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • sustainable
  • healthier lifestyles
  • obesity
  • foot traffic
  • community engagement
  • logistical challenges
  • banning vehicles
  • supply chain issues
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • urban planning
  • environmental benefits
What to do next:
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