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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart depicts information about how many
men
Use synonyms
 and women pursue university studies full-time or part-time in Britain in three periods. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that, during these three periods, the female pupils were the highest in half-time
education
Use synonyms
 and they
also
Linking Words
 were the least learners for full-time study. After analyzing the bar chart, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 1000
men
Use synonyms
 were enrolled in part-time
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, at the same time nearly 800 female
students
Use synonyms
 were doing part-time studies. In the year 1980/81 there were nearly identical numbers of
men
Use synonyms
 and women
students
Use synonyms
 who did part-time
education
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during the
last
Linking Words
 year, the number of female
students
Use synonyms
 was higher than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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, which was up to 1000 female pupils, making it the highest ratio of part-time female learners.
Further
Linking Words
, the bar chart shows that, during 1970/71 only a few
students
Use synonyms
 of both genders did
further
Linking Words
 schooling, ( below 200
men
Use synonyms
 and women, respectively). In the next period, almost 200 males did full-time
education
Use synonyms
 and the number of females increased by 100
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
males. In the final year, both males and females were the same, who did full-time
education
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, education, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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