IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city?

Nowadays
people
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 can’t imagine
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
show examples
 person who doesn’t live in a big
city
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. Unfortunately, there are not only benefits
behind
Change preposition
to
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 a fancy picture. Living in a
city
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 means
deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
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 with long distances,
bigger
Add an article
the bigger
a bigger
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 amount of
stress
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 and different kinds of pollution.
However
Linking Words
,
citizens
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 have access to many facilities,
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 and society.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss positive and negative views of living in a
city
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. First of all, living in a
city
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 gives access to necessary facilities. There are more than enough educational institutions and hospitals. So living in the
city
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 suits
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families, students and old
people
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. Another benefit that
attract
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attracts
show examples
people
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 to cities is
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
. Big towns have different events appealing to everyone
everyday
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every day
show examples
.
Citizens
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 always have where to go and with whom. Society is one more advantage. Hundreds of
people
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 surround you
everyday
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every day
show examples
.
Hence
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, it’s easier to find matching friends.
In
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On
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another
Correct determiner usage
the
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hand
Correct word choice
other hand
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,
citizens
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 always
face
Wrong verb form
faced
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 with difficulties. Based on interviews a majority of
citizens
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 experience
a
Remove the article
apply
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stress
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due to
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 their lives in cities
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Unfortunately,
people
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 can’t avoid many
stress
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 causes. Some of
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stress
Add an article
the stress
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 causes are drawbacks of living in a
city
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.
People
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 need to deal with long distances
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is a stressful situation. It’s a really big problem when going somewhere means
to waste
Change the verb form
wasting
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 an hour to get
in
Change preposition
to
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 a required place.
Additionally
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, the biggest problem is
a
Remove the article
apply
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pollution
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be harmful to health. Pollution can be noticed anywhere, it can be obvious
and
Correct word choice
or
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 not, so
people
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can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
just don’t know about a bad influence on
them
Change the pronoun
their
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organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
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. Summing up, living in a
city
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 gives access to all necessary facilities,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 you need to cope with all
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 harmful to
people
Use synonyms
’s health.

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Task Response
Your introduction gives a good overview, but it could be clearer in stating the main points you will discuss. Try to list them clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words more often, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to help the flow of your essay.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific types of entertainment or health issues related to pollution.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is clear: you have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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