Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern era, many believe that the

internet

Use synonyms

available a lot of information or news from around the world starting from important or trivial they

also

Linking Words

can improve knowledge from smartphones.

Personaly

Correct your spelling

Personally

as a student and based on my experience

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

disagree with that statement I believe behaviour

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

learned on

Use synonyms

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

but in the school area with a teacher. It could be argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

studying on the

Internet

Use synonyms

is more convenient than studying at school.

Firstly

Linking Words

, searching for information about anything can be done anywhere and anytime they want.

In addition

Linking Words

, smartphones available many applications or platforms

Correct word choice

available to

show examples

support

students

Use synonyms

during

the

Change the word

their

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

because lots of companies create applications as

time

Use synonyms

goes by.

However

Linking Words

, studying directly can build the school more ensure the children first of all. Studying directly can build kind the behaviour of children not only through material but

also

Linking Words

through theory obtained from an academic setting,

secondly

Linking Words

. It can learn about friendship relationships with others,

thirdly

Linking Words

. It is not necessary to use phones too much because when children use phones over

time

Use synonyms

causing a lack of eyesight, and

finally

Linking Words

studying directly offers a wider range of concepts to study than acquiring knowledge on the

internet

Use synonyms

. It could

also

Linking Words

be argued that studying on

Use synonyms

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

is save money.

First,

Linking Words

it is unnecessary monthly cash outlays, and

second,

Linking Words

affordable

time

Use synonyms

to learn.

However

Linking Words

, learning

Use synonyms

face to

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

face

Use synonyms

is the most appropriate learning for

students

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

, studying directly increases

confidence

Add an article

the confidence

show examples

students

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

train

Correct subject-verb agreement

trains

show examples

mental between

students

Use synonyms

and educators. Another reason,

students

Use synonyms

can

easier to

Rephrase

easily

show examples

understand the material from their tutor and manage their

time

Use synonyms

when the teacher gives some lesson or homework. Study directly, ensure the

students

Use synonyms

disciplined

Add a missing verb

are disciplined

show examples

in their life in the future, and

last

Linking Words

but not least. Studying directly has helped education with many benefits.

To sum up

Linking Words

, studying on the

Internet

Use synonyms

is a not good thing for learners. Studying directly provides many lessons. In the future, most people will eventually turn to learning

face

Use synonyms

face

Use synonyms

rather than studying by smartphone

Arni Aqlina

Jun 16, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph clearly relates to the main topic and has a clear main idea.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific behaviors or skills learned in school.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer transitions between points and paragraphs to help the reader follow your argument.

task achievement

Check for spelling and grammatical errors. This will help improve the overall clarity of your writing.

task achievement

Good attempt to present both sides of the argument and express your opinion clearly.

task achievement

You have shown personal experience, which adds credibility to your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social development
fostering communication
personalized guidance
immediate feedback
replicated
structured environments
discipline
time management skills
extracurricular activities
nurture talents
inculcate
sense of community
shared learning experiences
equal access
learning opportunities

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Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some countries require students to study foreign languages, while others think it is not necessary. Discuss both cases and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views!

Some say the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say the purpose of education is to help people achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some children spend hours every day on their phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive ar negative development?

Some people think that the main purposes of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?