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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below show the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below show the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives information regarding the
consumption
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 of
fish
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 and some other varieties of
meat
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 (
Chicken
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, Lamb and Beef ) in
European
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countries
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 over a period between 1979 to 2004. The unit used for measurement is
gram
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the gram
a gram
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. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that
consumption
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 of
chicken
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 in
Use synonyms
european
Change the capitalization
European
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 goes upward in the following years
while
Linking Words
consumption
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 of beef and lamb goes downward. Surprisingly,
fish
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 is the only type of
meat
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 that remains constant and we do not see any major trend in its
consumption
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 over the years.
In
Change preposition
From
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 the Year 1979 to 2004, people consuming
chicken
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 per
week
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 goes from 140
grams
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 to 240
grams
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.
Chicken
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 definitely
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
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 a favourite
meat
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 in
European
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countries
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. Beef was the most popular choice of
meat
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 in 1979
however
Linking Words
, its
consumption
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 per
week
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 goes from 220
grams
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 to 130
grams
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. Similar is the case with lamb, its
consumption
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 saw a decline from 150
grams
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 per
week
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 to 70
grams
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 per
week
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.
However
Linking Words
,we can not see any major trend towards the
consumption
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 of
fish
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 in
European
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countries
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. In the year 1979, people consumed only 60
grams
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 of
fish
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 per
week
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. The
consumption
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 fell to 50
grams
Use synonyms
 per
week
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 and
then
Linking Words
 remained constant until the year 2004. Apparently,
fish
Use synonyms
 is the least favourite choice of
European
Use synonyms
 people.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, fish, meat, chicken, european, countries, week, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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