One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectanccy is encreasing. do ypu think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people say that improved medical care has brought tremendous advantages in life.
Othes
Correct your spelling
Others
say that the disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
outweigh it
show examples
. In my opinion, longevity gained from the development of
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
industry far outweighs the downsides.
Firstly
Linking Words
, you can live longer with someone you love.
Long
Add an article
A long
show examples
time ago, before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical care
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
still immature, many people died from various diseases.
Their
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
wish should have lived longer and stayed
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
family.
Moreover
Linking Words
,

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state both the advantages and disadvantages in your essay. This will help you fully address the topic.
task achievement
Try to include clear examples that support your ideas. For instance, you can mention specific diseases that people used to die from.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate your ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that explains the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. Words like 'expectancy' and 'others' need to be spelled correctly to improve your writing.
task achievement
You've expressed a clear opinion on the topic, which is an important part of essay writing.
task achievement
Your intention to discuss both sides is a good approach and sets the stage for a balanced argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: