Universities should allocate same amount of money to Sports activities as they allocate to the Libraries. To what extent do you Agree or Disagree?

Universities ought to dedicate an equal amount of funding to
sports
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
as they do to their libraries. I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement for the reason that
sports
Use synonyms
are as
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
important as libraries are.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is of high importance to spend money on
sports
Use synonyms
programs. Because it will help a large amount of students to
particibate
Correct your spelling
participate
in these
activities
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
lowering the level of obesity, and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
keep them in great condition,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
most of the time they just sit on a chair for more than 3 hours a day.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study that was published by the CBC showed that students in colleges are more prone to gaining weight by 60 per cent than any other student, so these
activities
Use synonyms
can offer a great solution for staying in shape, give students a break after a long day, and in the end clearing their mind which helps them to focus on their studies.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
funding will attract a great portion of
people
Use synonyms
who love
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
and want to seek a career path in any
sport
Use synonyms
. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
these days are aiming to get into some kind of a
sport
Use synonyms
and make it
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
occupation, and they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
get enthusiastic
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
college and studies in general, so when we start giving more attention to these
activities
Use synonyms
it will for sure help them get into college for the sole reason of them later seeking their dream in playing the
sport
Use synonyms
they
wnat
Correct your spelling
want
.
For example
Linking Words
, a lot of NBA teams are putting a
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirement
that if someone wants to play for one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
teams he or she should complete their education,
accordingly
Linking Words
these individuals start to look for universities that offer a good degree,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
offering a great basketball
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
, which in return
also
Linking Words
helps these colleges to attract more
people
Use synonyms
in their institutions. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree that it is crucial for universities to spend the same money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
as they do
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
libraries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
Linking Words
funding will help to decrease the levels of obesity,
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
help attract
people
Use synonyms
who want to seek a career path in the NBA or any other
sport
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to write in full sentences and check for spelling errors. Proofreading will help improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer connection between your ideas. Transition words can help link your points together better.
task achievement
Include a wider variety of examples to support your points.
task achievement
You made a strong argument about the importance of sports for students' health.
task achievement
The examples you provided about career paths in sports are relevant and engaging.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic approach
  • intellectual growth
  • fostering community
  • mental health
  • campus experience
  • cornerstone
  • conducive to
  • resources, technology
  • financial implications
  • institutional goals
  • prospective students
  • academic achievement
  • physical health
  • equally allocating
  • enriching
  • indirectly
  • practical considerations
  • enhancing
  • significance
  • reputation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: