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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010
The bar chart illustrates the amount of money
France
Use synonyms
 and The United Kingdom allocated for five types of goods(cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras) throughout the year 2010
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars were the product, on which both countries
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent the most.
In contrast
Linking Words
, expenditure on perfume was the least compared to other stuff. With regards to the
Use synonyms
UK
Change noun form
UK's
show examples
 dominance in
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
, cars were purchased by the
UK
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 just over 450,00
pounds
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sterlings
Use synonyms
,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more than
France
Use synonyms
 did (400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
) by about 50,000
pounds
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sterlings
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. The higher contrast held between expenditures on books, with 300,000 and around 450,00
pounds
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sterlings
Use synonyms
 for
France
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 and the
UK
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, respectively. Slightly more than 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterlings
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 spent by
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
,
Correct your spelling
which
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wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 is over double that of
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 (150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterlings
Use synonyms
) On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
France
Use synonyms
 allocated more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the other products. Computers were purchased more for approximately 25,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterlings
Use synonyms
 in
France
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, the latter spending around 375,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterlings
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
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 spending exactly 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterlings
Use synonyms
. A product with the lowest expenditure, perfume was
selled
Correct your spelling
sold
show examples
 for
total
Add an article
a total
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 of 200,000 and nearly 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterlings
Use synonyms
 in
France
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 and the United Kingdom, in that order.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, pounds, sterlings with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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