IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

“some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that professional
childcare
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centres
Use synonyms
 offer the best care for preschool
children
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that family members,
such
Linking Words
 as
grandparents
Use synonyms
, are better suited to look after young kids. Both sides have valid arguments. Supporters of
childcare
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
 argue that these places provide a structured and educational environment. Trained staff can help
children
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 develop early learning skills, socialize with peers, and prepare for school.
For example
Linking Words
, many
centres
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 follow a set curriculum that includes language, numbers, and group activities. Working
parents
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 may
also
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 find these
centres
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 more reliable, as they usually have fixed hours and backup staff.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
parents
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 trust family members, especially
grandparents
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, to care for their
children
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.
Grandparents
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 often offer more emotional warmth, patience, and attention than busy
childcare
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 workers. They
also
Linking Words
 tend to share the same values and language, which can strengthen family bonds.
Additionally
Linking Words
, leaving
children
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 with family can be more flexible and affordable, especially for
parents
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 with long or unpredictable work hours. In my opinion, both options have benefits, but a
childcare
Use synonyms
 centre may be more beneficial in the long run.
While
Linking Words
grandparents
Use synonyms
 provide love and comfort, professional carers can support a child’s development in more structured ways. Ideally, a combination of both—family care during
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years and part-time preschool later—might offer the best balance. In conclusion, whether a child is better off with
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
 or in a
childcare
Use synonyms
 centre depends on the family’s needs and the child’s personality. Each has its own advantages.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your ideas. This can strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better flow in your writing.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states both views on childcare, which is a good start.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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