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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar graph provides statistical data on the percentage of British people who donate money to charities based on their age ranges for two years, 1990 and 2010.

The bar graph provides statistical data on the percentage of British people who donate money to charities based on their age ranges for two years, 1990 and 2010.
The bar graph provides statistical data on the percentage of British
people
Use synonyms
 who donate money to charities based on their
age
Use synonyms
 ranges for two years, 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, young adults, in the
age
Use synonyms
 groups 18 to 25 donated the least during both of the given years. Most
people
Use synonyms
 who made donations in 1990 were between the
age
Use synonyms
 of 36 to 50.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010,
this
Linking Words
 trend changed and the most popular
age
Use synonyms
 group to give money to
chary
Capitalize word
Chary
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 became 51 to
65 year olds
Add a hyphen
65-year-olds
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.
People
Use synonyms
 in the second decade of life were less likely to give money to charity,
this
Linking Words
 was around 17% in 1990 and dropped to just over 6% in 2010.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
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 group was most eager to make
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
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 in 1990, that was about 42%,
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 group only made up about 35% in 2010. In 2010, older individuals aged 51 to 65 were the highest contributors, accounting for almost 40% of the donations, but in 1990
this
Linking Words
 was
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
 less, about 35%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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