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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

ome people think that social media platforms are becoming the primary source of news for younger generations, replacing traditional forms of journalism. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some people argue that social
media
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platforms
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 are becoming the main source of
information
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 for younger generations and offer more advantages than disadvantages,
while
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 others believe the opposite. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both perspectives, ultimately siding with the latter view that social
media
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 may be replacing traditional journalism but not always for the better. First of all, one of the most compelling advantages of using social
media
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 is that it provides quick and easy access to
information
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.
In other words
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, people can obtain knowledge instantly from various
sources
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.
For example
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, a study published by The New York Times concluded that 90% of people find it easier to research and learn through content shared on
platforms
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 like YouTube or Twitter.
Therefore
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, the speed and convenience of receiving
information
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 is a major benefit.
On the other hand
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, one significant drawback of using these
platforms
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 is the spread of misinformation. In fact, the internet can play a key role in deceiving users with fake news or biased narratives. Social
media
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 often amplifies false
information
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 to gain attention or promote specific agendas.
For instance
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, my uncle often spends hours chatting with AI or reading unreliable
sources
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, which has led him to believe in incorrect facts.
In contrast
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, my younger brother relies on credible
sources
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 for learning, which has improved his research and critical thinking skills.
This
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 shows that
while
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information
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 is easily available, the ability to filter reliable content is essential. In conclusion,
although
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 social
media
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platforms
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 have become vital in delivering news to the younger generation, they
also
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 come with serious challenges,
such
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 as the spread of rumours and false
information
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.
Therefore
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, it is important to use the internet wisely and maintain a balance between traditional
sources
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 like books and modern
platforms
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 to ensure accuracy and depth in learning.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position. However, try to expand on your main points and explain why you side with this view.
coherence and cohesion
You have good logical structure. To improve, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using linking words or phrases.
task achievement
Including more specific examples to support your arguments will strengthen your points and make your essay more compelling.
positive
You present both sides of the argument well, showing an understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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