IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Arranging Accommodation You are being sent on a one month work assignment in San Francisco, California. You need a place to stay while you are there. Write a letter to the Maury Samson Real Estate Agency. In your letter: explain the situation describe the kind of accommodation you would like provide the dates you will need it Begin your letter as follows: Dear Mr Samson,

Dear Mr Samson, I am writing to inform you that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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San Francisco next month. So I
required
Wrong verb form
require
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apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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california
Change the capitalization
California
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. Let me explain my situation, as
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am working as
Correct article usage
a maintanance
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maintanance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 technician in Keltour control,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 have another project which is in San
francisco
Change the capitalization
Francisco
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, They made
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
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 to
moved
Wrong verb form
move
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 me over there for around 4 weeks
of
Change preposition
in
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july
Change the capitalization
July
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 to reduce the
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
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 at that site. So,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 need a studio or
one bed
Add a hyphen
one-bed
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 room house from 1st
july
Change the capitalization
July
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 to
end
Correct article usage
the end
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 of
july
Change the capitalization
July
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I need a parking spot as well, as my organization will provide me
a
Add the preposition
with a
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car for
commute
Add an article
the commute
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 need
Add an article
a well
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well furnished
Add a hyphen
well-furnished
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 house with good air-conditioning because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
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 that month,
predictable
Correct article usage
the predictable
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 weather will be around 27
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
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celcious
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in the city area.
In addition
Linking Words
, if you can able to provide me
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
television, it will feel like
cherry
Correct article usage
a cherry
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 on the cake. thank you for Your consideration, Hope
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will get your response soon.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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 faithfully, Bhaumik Vyas

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task achievement
Make sure to address any spelling mistakes, like 'i' instead of 'I' and 'celcious' instead of 'Celsius'.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer paragraphs for different ideas, such as a separate paragraph for your situation and another for your accommodation needs.
task achievement
Try to use a more polite closing phrase, like 'I look forward to your response.' instead of 'Hope i will get your response soon.'
task achievement
You clearly described the type of accommodation you need, including specific details like parking and air-conditioning.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a friendly tone, which is good for this type of communication.
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