Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, people are too obsessed with buying or acquiring material things such as expensive clothes or cars because, they think that people around them will judge them based on what they possess.

In
this
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day and age, many people think that obtaining material things is a way to keep up with the latest
trend
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trends
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. I completely disagree with the following statement, I believe that people mostly judge them through the inner self.
This
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essay will discuss the following opinion
futher
Correct your spelling
further
. First and foremost, possessing a lot of material may show that you are endowed with wealth or look stylish but it doesn't reflect your
personalities
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personality
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.
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While gaining
Correct word choice
Gaining
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knowledge to improve yourself is much more important as you can foster social skills that
makes
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make
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you stand out. Admittedly, It is true that trying to develop yourself
everyday
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every day
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is better than pursuing to buy expensive items or
transportations
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transportation
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to avoid being criticized.
Therefore
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, accumulating life skills and general knowledge should be prioritized ahead of gaining possessions.
Secondly
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, buying luxurious goods doesn't make any
meaning
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meaningful
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contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
However
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, building up your skills can really have a big impact on others. By studying and training, you can work as a firefighter,
a
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or a
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doctor. These jobs not only save people's
life
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lives
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from danger but can
also
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make you earn
respects
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respect
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from other individuals.
For instance
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, by learning and focusing on
nuturing
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nurturing
yourself diligently, you can later devote something
that is
Linking Words
meaningful to
the
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apply
show examples
society. In conclusion, being obsessed with buying stuff is not as important and should be spent time on other activities as owning luxuries doesn't have any impact and devotion to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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task achievement
Make sure to have clear examples that directly support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly with linking words.
coherence and cohesion
Make your conclusion a bit stronger with a summary of your main points.
task achievement
You have good ideas about personal growth and societal contributions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • material wealth
  • social media influence
  • advertising
  • high-end products
  • better lifestyle
  • peer pressure
  • societal norms
  • luxury items
  • financial strain
  • personal growth
  • temporary satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • fulfillment
What to do next:
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