IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the best way to travel within a city is by car. Others believe it is best to travel by bicycle. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Type
Correct article usage
The type
show examples
 of vehicles or
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
is depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on
people
Use synonyms
's situations. There are strong
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 on
preference
Add an article
the preference
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to travel by
car
Use synonyms
 or bicycle,as we will discuss here/as we shall see/which we will discuss here On the one hand, those who believe that
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comfortable ride. It can be
due to
Linking Words
 rainy days and schedules. In some countries, during rainy days, most
people
Use synonyms
 tend to travel by
car
Use synonyms
 than other options. It
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need to stay dry and clean when they
arrived
Wrong verb form
arrive
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, personal agenda can be one of the reasons. Working for long hours is
exhausted
Replace the word
exhausting
show examples
, and
commute
Wrong verb form
commuting
show examples
 by
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
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 can be more
prefferable
Correct your spelling
preferable
, in
context
Correct article usage
the context
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 of safety and
time wise
Add a hyphen
time-wise
show examples
. It
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to more flexibility
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the activities
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and flexibility is essential on
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 busy day.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
 can be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 option too,
due to
Linking Words
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 benefits and good weather. In some nations with good
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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,
bike
Correct article usage
a bike
show examples
 is the most preferable transportation and healthier than
takes
Wrong verb form
taking
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ride
Add an article
the ride
a ride
show examples
. Regarding the healthy condition, it is
importance
Replace the word
important
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 to keep
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 fit because it can boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
concentration and stamina.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the good weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 hard to resist. Feeling the fresh air and sunlight
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a splendid experience.
For instance
Linking Words
, riding a bike in
heart
Add an article
the heart
show examples
 city of swiss with beautiful sceneries and clear sky.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it appears to me that
stronger
Correct article usage
a stronger
show examples
 argument is travel by
car
Use synonyms
 is more suitable
due to
Linking Words
anticipation
Correct article usage
the anticipation
show examples
 of rain and
tight
Correct article usage
a tight
show examples
 schedule. But, the bike is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 option
due to
Linking Words
 maintaining
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life and
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good weather.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help your essay flow better and let the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and show that you understand the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to your grammar and sentence structure. Clear sentences make your ideas easier to understand.
task achievement
You have a clear topic and present both sides of the argument, which is a good approach.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your opinion, showing that you have thought about the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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