Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,
people
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enjoy watching
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live
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more than watching movies or
events
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on
television
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for many reasons.
Although
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, it is beneficial to watch a
live
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film
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this
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does not mean that watching films or
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event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
on
television
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is boring. On one hand, individuals claim that watching a
live
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film
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or
event
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more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
interesting for numerous benefits.
First,
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people
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will be more interactive with
events
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. To clarify, when
people
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invite to certain
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events
Add a comma
events,
show examples
they can share their ideas or comments very easily.
For example
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, watching a
live
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film
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helps
people
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to interact with actors and
also
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they can take photos with them.
Moreover
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,
this
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allow
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allows
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people
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to meet new individuals that will increase their social bond and
broad
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broaden
show examples
their social relationships. Despite all the benefits, there are several drawbacks
of
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to
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watching a
live
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event
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or
film
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.
To begin
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, it is a waste of
money
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because all
live
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events
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or films need tickets to join them which is pricey.
Therefore
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, spending
money
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in
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on
show examples
unnecessary needs
lead
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leads
show examples
to
negatively
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negative
show examples
affct
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effects
on financial support
as a result
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saving
money
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for the future is much better.
In addition
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, it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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of
time
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because
people
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have to go to an
event
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/
film
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place which might face traffic road.
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Consequently
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Consequently,
show examples
they lose their
time
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that can be invested in
some thing
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something
show examples
more beneficial.
Therefore
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, watching
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event
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events
show examples
on
television
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will overcome all these drawbacks by saving
tickets
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ticket
show examples
cost
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costs
show examples
and
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apply
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traffic
time
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and
noisy
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noise
show examples
which present in
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event
Correct article usage
the event
show examples
place. In my opinion, I totally believe that watching a
film
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or
event
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on
television
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is much better than on a
live
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because it will save not only
money
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but
also
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time
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.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
top of that it is more comfortable for individuals. In conclusion, most
of
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apply
show examples
people
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are interested
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while
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in
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watching a
live
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event
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compared to watching on
television
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.
However
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, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
many disadvantages of watching a
live
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event
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.I encourage
people
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to watch
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event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
on
television
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to save their
time
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,
cost
Correct word choice
and cost
show examples
and to enjoy it with their families in
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
comfortable and
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
atmosphere.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. Make sure to state your opinion more strongly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea and support it with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied sentences and link your ideas better so that the essay flows smoothly.
task achievement
You presented clear reasons for both sides of the argument, showing good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint and encourages readers to consider your perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • live performance
  • unique and energetic
  • sense of community
  • screen
  • editing
  • post-production
  • authentic experience
  • convenience
  • visibility
  • real-time commentary
  • expert analysis
  • understanding and appreciation
  • prohibitive
  • accessible option
  • wider audiences
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