Some people believe that individuals are becoming more and more dependent on each other, where as others believe that people are becoming more independent from each other. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

It is considered by some
people
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that nowadays, individuals tend more dependent on other
people
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,
while
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the
others
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have
oppinions
Correct your spelling
opinion
that a single soul can live independently. There are
debate
Fix the agreement mistake
debates
show examples
on both sides and we will discuss two views now. On the one hand, some
people
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believe that no one can get through a single day alone, so they need
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others
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others'
other's
show examples
support. In
this
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economic
situations
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situation
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, most families believe that both husband and wife have to work for fulfilling their needs.
However
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, they need someone to do some homework,
such
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as cleaning, cooking, or just playing with the kids.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, these families
are need
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need
show examples
someone's support, it can be their
parent
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parents
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, siblings or other
people
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who
getting
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get
show examples
paid by working in their
home
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homes
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some
people
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's
oppinion
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opinions
that say everyone can live
indepently
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independently
. These opinions reflected
to
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apply
show examples
a situation where a person
need
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needs
show examples
to be independent. In the context of working, some cases are more effectively to be done alone because most work is finished faster when it
divided
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is divided
show examples
to
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into
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small
task
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tasks
show examples
and given to several
people
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. It is easier to complete the task
with
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at
show examples
their own pace.
For instance
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, in my office, each individual
responsible
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is responsible
show examples
to analyze
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for analyzing
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their
portofolios
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portfolios
, because it is faster than one soul
analize
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analyse
all the work alone. In conclusion,
i
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I
show examples
certainly believe that each person has a different problem. Dependent or
independent
Replace the word
independence
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
others
Use synonyms
life is
depend
Wrong verb form
depends
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on how the person
deal
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deals
show examples
with difficulties. In some cases, they need support and some
others
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are not.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clear structure of the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and flow logically. Use linking words to connect ideas better.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples and details to support your points. This will help clarify your ideas.
language use
Check grammar and spelling. Words like 'opinion' and 'independently' need correct spelling. Also, avoid using 'no one' as it may not be accurate.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You included personal experience, which helps to support your opinion and makes the essay more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • globalization
  • remote work
  • independence
  • dependency
  • specialization
  • professional services
  • social validation
  • individualism
  • self-reliance
  • collective action
  • sustainability
  • global community
  • navigating
  • complexity
  • environmental movement
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