IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your friend has just moved to a new house. Write a letter to your friend and let him know about the gift that you have prepared for him/her. In your letter, you should: -describe the gift -tell how it will be delivered -explain why you chose it.

Dear Darshil, Hope, You
got
Verb problem
had
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success
Replace the word
successful
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 in transferring your all essential things to the new building, I am writing to expose the present which I made for you. Let me explain more about it, it is a painting which
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 painted in
a
Change the word
my
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 leisure time by myself, it took me a 3hours to complete it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I drew and filled natural colour in it,
therefore
Linking Words
 the picture looks very natural and eye-catching. As your new accommodation is far away from my hometown, I am planning to send
this
Linking Words
 thing via transportation service.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 searched on the internet a lot and in the end, I chose Canada Post for the delivery.
Although
Linking Words
 it is quite expensive, it is worth it and safe. I am very happy that you got a huge space as compared to the
last
Linking Words
 house;
However
Linking Words
, you need more creative stuff to decorate the apartment,
Hence
Linking Words
 I planned to give you a painted frame for your huge living room. The striking justification
to choose
Change preposition
for choosing
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 the gift is your interest towards the art. I Hope, You will love my gift and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will get positive feedback from your side. Yours Childhood friend, Bhaumik Vyas

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer paragraphs for each point you make, separating ideas well.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use some linking words to help the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar; there are a few mistakes which can change meaning.
task achievement
You could add a warm closing sentence to make the letter feel more friendly.
task achievement
You described the gift well and explained why you chose it.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly and warm tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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