IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

In some cultures, the parents arrange marriages for their children but in others, children choose their marriage partner. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each system?

In today's time, some people follow the traditional pathway where parents arrange marriage for their offspring. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both advantages and disadvantages will be explained below. First of all, marrying a person
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 is chosen by the family elevates the chances of successful marriage to a substantial level, because both families are already involved and there is great understanding between family members.
Moreover
Linking Words
, weddings planned by parents are
finalize
Wrong verb form
finalised
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 by considering all the
factions
Correct your spelling
factors
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 like financial stability, future goals, family compatibility, etc. which makes
their
Correct pronoun usage
it their
show examples
son in law
Add a hyphen
son-in-law
show examples
 or daughter in law to assimilate
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 easier.
Overall
Linking Words
, these small things make
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 impact, like if there is an argument between the
newly-wed
Correct your spelling
newly-weds
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 families can be involved to resolve the issue.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points of your essay. This will help your readers understand what to expect.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have a clear conclusion that summarizes your points and reinforces your main ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
content
You provided a good start by discussing the traditional practice of arranged marriages and some advantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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