IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Billions are committed to growth
driven
Correct your spelling
growth-driven
show examples
 world. Nowadays,
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate
is became
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
sky rocketed
Correct your spelling
skyrocketed
show examples
 in the
metropolitant
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
metropolitans
 by the young generation.
Myraid
Correct your spelling
Myriad
 of justifications are responsible
behind
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the scenario, and it is crucial to take some inevitable steps to mitigate the issue. To commence,
multi-tudinious
Correct your spelling
multi-tendinous
 reasons incline why urban area
suferred
Correct your spelling
suffered
 more criminal
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 done by
youge
Correct your spelling
your
 age group. First and foremost, a group of
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 have insufficient knowledge about the right things and it happened because of
low
Correct article usage
the low
show examples
litteracy
Correct your spelling
literacy
 rate, anyone can able to provocate them, and by
Add an article
the influence
show examples
influence
Add a comma
influence,
show examples
 they do theft
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. a statistical survey analysis done by
prestigious
Correct article usage
a prestigious
show examples
 newspaper states that 90% of
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 generation are being caught by cops have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
understaning
Correct your spelling
understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 personal point of view, they are just doing unlawful things under the provocation of their peers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Majority
Correct article usage
the Majority
show examples
 of them are
sufferring
Correct your spelling
suffering
 from the bad habit of
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
 and that addiction
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 their thinking abilities and by
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 aggressive by nature.
Thus
Linking Words
,
urbanized
Add an article
the urbanized
show examples
 area has high unlawful
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. Eventually, to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and elders should have implant some set of laws. the striking
soulation
Correct your spelling
solution
 is,
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
show examples
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 have to put
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 ban on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
durg
Correct your spelling
drug
 selling and buying.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they have to make new
guideline
Fix the agreement mistake
guidelines
show examples
 to punish the
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 who are doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unethical things and
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 should
have to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
broadcast that state-wise so more and more human
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the strict fines.
Hence
Linking Words
,
metropolis
Correct article usage
the metropolis
show examples
 become
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
 free from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers who are doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
theft
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. extracting the gist from the above discussion, It can
be conclude
Change the verb form
be concluded
show examples
 that by providing well nurturing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humankind,
metropolitant
Fix the agreement mistake
metropolitants
show examples
 can reduce the events which is against the rules and
regualtions
Correct your spelling
regulations
. Hope, In
distant
Correct article usage
the distant
show examples
 future,
cabinet
Add an article
the cabinet
show examples
 will realize the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of strict laws, and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will implant
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
 public safety.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The introduction needs to clearly state the reasons for youth crime and the proposed solutions. You should also maintain a clear focus on the topic throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple sentence structures and clear language. Avoid complex phrases and focus on clarity instead of trying to use difficult vocabulary.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to correctly spell words and check your grammar. This will help make your writing clearer and more professional. For example, "metropolitant" should be "metropolitan" and "litteracy" should be "literacy."
Task Achievement
You have presented reasons for youth crime and suggested solutions, which is a good approach for the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
You made a good effort to connect ideas, suggesting a relationship between youth behavior and their environment.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surge
  • productive activities
  • quality education
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • economic disparity
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • legitimate means
  • inclusive education
  • mentorship
  • community policing
  • youth engagement
  • early intervention
  • constructive pathways
  • social services
  • at-risk families
  • root causes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: