IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by government rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the
government
Use synonyms
 should totally control scientific
research
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,
while
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instead
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 of personal corporations. I partially disagree scientific
research
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 should only be held by governments, scientific
research
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 should be operated by private
companies
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 ,
will
Correct pronoun usage
which will
show examples
explain
Wrong verb form
be explained
show examples
 in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, it is unrealistic for the
government
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 to solely control all technological
research
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 and
development
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, as it hinders comprehensive
development
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 and constrains economic and technological progress.
Due to
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 limited
government
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 funding for technological
research
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. The
government
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 has been investing most of its funds in human security and livelihood
research
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 for a long time, resulting in less funding in other economic fields, which hinders economic and technological
development
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,
such
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 as nuclear energy, military technology, and virus
research
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. The
government
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 spends a lot of money to ensure the safety of these technologies and will not threaten the safety of the public in daily life.
However
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, these studies often have high investment costs and cannot produce economic effects.
On the other hand
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, the participation of private
companies
Use synonyms
 in scientific
research
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 can drive economic
development
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, create social benefits and value, and compensate for the lack of
government
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 leadership in technology. Private enterprises conduct scientific
research
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 based on market demand,
while
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 private
companies
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 are flexible and sensitive to the market, able to quickly respond and develop products that meet economic needs.
For example
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, in recent years, the media has continuously reported on the environmental pollution caused by car exhaust in new energy vehicles. Private enterprises have quickly developed electricity as a substitute for gasoline as a vehicle energy source to make up for the lack of
government
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 leadership in technological and economic
development
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the
government
Use synonyms
's involvement in scientific
research
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 is crucial for ensuring that it aligns with the citizens' welfare and upholds ethical standards, the exclusion of private
companies
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 is not advisable. A balanced approach, perhaps through public-private partnerships, could harness the private sector's innovative prowess
while
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 leveraging governmental oversight to steer these advancements towards the greater public good. 
This
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 synergy, rather than a polarized stance, would be instrumental in fostering an environment where scientific
research
Use synonyms
 thrives, contributing to both societal welfare and economic progression.

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. It should be easy for the reader to see what you think about the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly with better topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases (like 'however,' 'for example,' and 'in addition') to connect your ideas and make the flow of your essay smoother.
task achievement
Your conclusion provides a good summary of your thoughts and suggests a balanced approach, which is thoughtful.
task achievement
You include specific examples, such as the development of electric vehicles, which helps support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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