IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Studying art in schools improves studrnt's performance in other subjects ,because it is easier for multi_skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that
art
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 studies during school increase
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students
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students'
student's
show examples
 performance in other topics,
thus
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 it is
simplier
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simpler
 for multi-skilled
students
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 to learn new subjects.
Therefore
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, arts should be obligatory in educational institutions. I
Firmly
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firmly
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 believe that
studiying
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studying
art
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 is
benefical
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beneficial
 for the full potential development of
academic-skills
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academic skills
show examples
.
Firstly
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, one
particulary
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particularly
 compelling reason is that
art
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 promotes improvements
on
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in
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 the creativity of children.
This
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 is primarily
due to
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 how they explore the world through abilities like drawing, which clearly
domesntrates
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demonstrates
 that listening
an
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and
show examples
readind
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reading
 are not the only ways that
students
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 have to learn.
For instance
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, a noteworthy example is how my
daugthers
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daughter
 school
ask
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asks
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 for kids to make a draw related to the answers that they give on their
homeworks
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homework
 as a complementary element.
Moreover
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, another undoubtedly important factor is that when individuals have more than one alternative to integrate the same knowledge there are more probabilities of success on the task.
This
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 frequently results in the fact that
students
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, generally speaking, have different strategies to learn, thereby reinforcing the belief that studying
art
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 is an alternative way for the learning process. In conclusion, I
wholeheartly
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wholeheartedly
 support the view that schools must teach
art
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 to all their
students
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, as it presents a rational,
wellgrounded
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well-grounded
, and socially responsible perspective.

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language
Make sure to use proper spelling in words like 'students', 'beneficial', and 'heartily'. Avoid mistakes to improve clarity.
content
It would be helpful to add more examples, as this strengthens your arguments. Consider giving more specific instances of art's impact on learning.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it effectively. You could also link ideas between paragraphs better for better flow.
content
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and sets the direction of the essay.
content
You have made good points about creativity and learning strategies in relation to art education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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