Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As we know,
music
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is an element of peace and many
people
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are fond towards it. Some
people
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think that
music
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is a tool to bring
people
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together from different backgrounds in terms of cultures and age. I completely agree with
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point of view because everybody loves
music
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.
This
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essay will
further
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discuss why
music
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is a great way to unite
people
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. One compelling reason for my stance is that
music
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brings harmony among
people
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regardless of the languages they speak.
This
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is because
music
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touches many hearts and souls with its catchy tunes and unique composition.
Moreover
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,
music
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can be learnt through different instruments like guitar, violin and cello and these are often taught through frequent
music
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sessions where
people
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of different ages join.
For example
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, in a neighbourhood, kids and adults both come together to a
music
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lesson to learn those instruments.
As a result
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, they strengthen their relationship through a regularly organized learning platform despite coming from complex communities and speaking many different languages.
In addition
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, it is evident that
music
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has been a powerful tool which gathers
people
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not only from a community but
also
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from different regions of the
world
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. To support
this
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point, artists share their talent and creations in the
music
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industry through conducting shows and
world
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tours around the globe.
People
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from all over the
world
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are willing to join those shows
although
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the tickets can be really expensive.
Furthermore
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, by coming together to
such
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huge events, they can meet
people
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from different backgrounds.
For instance
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, Asians travelling to Europe for an American singer, Taylor Swift concert, can make friends with Europeans and learn about their unique culture and food and vice versa. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
music
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is indeed a great way of uniting
people
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from unique cultures and ages together. It brings harmony and strengthens the bond among society in many ways
such
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as through concerts and it should be embraced by
people
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all around the
world
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.

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task achievement
Try to add more examples from different cultures or historical events to support your points. This will help make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea of bringing people together through music. Some sentences can be clearer.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the essay's purpose.
supporting details
Good use of examples like the Taylor Swift concert that effectively illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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