IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modernized era, the topic of whether
nations
Use synonyms
 should use funding
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 practical work or university education is a long debate.
While
Linking Words
 some people think that
nations
Use synonyms
 should spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on practical activities, in my point of view, I agree that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on university education is not less essential for a
country
Use synonyms
's
development
Use synonyms
. There are plenty of reasons why
nations
Use synonyms
 should invest
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 improving skills and vocational training. First of all, residents will have more practical experiences which are hard to find in theoretical
knowledge
Use synonyms
. Specifically, employees in a company can improve useful skills through participating in special events,
meeting
Correct word choice
and meeting
show examples
 new people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can feel interest in their jobs and work more effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I agree that investing
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 university education
also
Linking Words
 has advantages
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the whole
country
Use synonyms
's
development
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, academic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is a vital foundation for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 growth. There are many jobs which need intense theoretical
knowledge
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as engineers, law, etc. Especially, artificial intelligence (AI) simulation which has potential
development
Use synonyms
 in the future needs a substantial foundation and well coding. In conclusion, when people agree that
nations
Use synonyms
 should invest
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 practical activities, I agree that having a substantial foundation is
also
Linking Words
 crucial for a
country
Use synonyms
's
development
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individuals should be cultivated completely through joining practical activities
and
Correct word choice
apply
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developing basic
knowledge
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, and being
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in a nation.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs.
task achievement
You present a clear argument about the importance of both education types.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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