IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people think that children should be doing educational work at home all the time, even in their free time. Others say that this is not a good idea and children should not be forced to do schoolwork all the time. Discuss both perspectives and give your own opinion.

This
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 world has changed today, especially
on
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in
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educational
Add an article
the educational
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 system. nowadays some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that you shouldn’t give
children
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 educational
activities
Use synonyms
 during their free time. Others say they have to do educational
activities
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.
This
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 essay will explain both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
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 before reaching a conclusion. On one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 think if we give the
children
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 educational
activities
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
, it will make them excel academically.
Therefore
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 they will go to
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 universities in future.
As a result
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 the country
well
Correct your spelling
will
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 have the highest level of graduated
people
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.
This
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 will increase the productivity of the government, which will lead to
develop
Replace the word
the development of
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 the country
,
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apply
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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 argue that we shouldn’t force the
children
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 to do educational
activities
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, because it will
make
Verb problem
put
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 them
on
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under
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 pressure.
Therefore
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,
may
Verb problem
apply
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they will hate studying.In future
may
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 they will prefer working
rether
Correct your spelling
rather
 than going to college, and
compleat
Correct your spelling
completing
 their study.
Although
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 when the
children
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 have
a
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apply
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free time,
people
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 believe that they can find their
passion
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, which will make them more productive, than any
academical
Replace the word
academic
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 person ,who is not
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passion
Replace the word
passionate
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with
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about
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 his field. In my opinion, it depends on the
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children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
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, if he
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a
passion
Use synonyms
to study
Change preposition
for studying
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,
than
Replace the word
then
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 it will be The best option.
However
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, if they
dosen’t
Correct your spelling
don’t
 like to do
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and other educational
activities
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. It’s better to let them do what they want, and we have to support them to find their interest. Because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passion
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is what will make them more productive and happy in their life.

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coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs need clearer main ideas and connections between them.
task achievement
Make sure to check your grammar and spelling for better clarity.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which is good.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear and well-stated at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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