IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart displays the
avrage
Correct your spelling
average
 amount of money spent on household items in
Jaban
Correct your spelling
Japan
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in 2010. 
Overall
Linking Words
, Both countries paid the most
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing, other goods and services and food
while
Linking Words
 they paid
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 health care.
However
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 spent most on housing
whereas
Linking Words
 Japan spent most on other goods and services. In
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, the highest proportion of expenditure was 34% on housing, followed by food
then
Linking Words
 transport at 27% and 26% respectively. The highest
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japanese expenditure was on other goods and
serivecs
Correct your spelling
services
 at 29%
then
Linking Words
 food at 24%. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 they spent almost the same
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing and transport with no more than 21%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both countries paid a tiny
proprtion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 on health care which is the lowest proportion among the other items.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 paid only 10% of its household expenditure on transport.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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