Some people say that it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think money does not guarantee happiness. Disscus both these views and give your opinion.

some
people
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believe that
money
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dos
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does
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not
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do not
did not
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give you
the
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apply
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happiness
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while
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the
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apply
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other
people
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think
the
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apply
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money
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is totally
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important
importante
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important
the gain
the
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apply
show examples
happiness
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in
this
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discussion I will talk about my opinion on
one
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the one
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hand I
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partially
partialy
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partially
agree with individuals that believe
the
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apply
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happiness
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is not about
money
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because
of
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apply
show examples
a lot of
Correct your spelling
families
familys
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families
are
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happy
happey
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happy
even there socioeconomic status is not that good , they
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believe
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belive
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believe
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that if you are
phisyulogical
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physiological
stable your family
stabe
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stable
this
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
happiness
happens
happeniss
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happens
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itself
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it self
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itself
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on the other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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I'm
Unnecessary verb
I
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extremely
extremly
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extremely
agree with
people
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who think
the
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apply
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money
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is important because if
yore
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your
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bank is full of
money
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you can do
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everything
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every thing
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everything
show examples
you find it gives you
happiness
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, whatever
money
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means you have
insurans
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insurance
with your life and your
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children's
children
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
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professional
profitional
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professional
schools in
conclusion
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conclusion,
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I
conseder
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consider
both views are based on
the
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apply
show examples
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people
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people's
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socioeconomic status when you have more
money
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you will find the
happiness
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that comes
by
Change preposition
with
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the
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apply
show examples
money
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and if you
dont
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don't
you will explore the
happiness
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that comes
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without
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with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
money
Use synonyms

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Task Achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state both views and your opinion. It should give a clear guide about what the essay will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs should have a clearer structure. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that tells the main idea. This helps the reader follow your ideas better.
Task Achievement
Use more examples to support your points. Examples can make your arguments stronger and clearer for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. For example, 'dos' should be 'does', and 'important' is the correct spelling. Correct grammar helps your ideas be clearer.
Task Achievement
You express your opinion clearly, which is important in IELTS essays.
Task Achievement
You attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • basic necessities
  • sense of security
  • diminishing return
  • well-being
  • personal fulfillment
  • meaningful relationships
  • non-material
  • material wealth
  • healthcare
  • financial worries
  • unforeseen events
What to do next:
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