IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that free housing should be provided by governments for under-priviliged and people who can't afford to buy a house. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give example based on your own experience.

The pivotal debate of
Use synonyms
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
 responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing remained for many years. In my point of view, housing for poor people is mainly
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Change noun form
government's
show examples
responibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for many reasons that will be mentioned and discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay. The first reason is the effect of having a house
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
family's
Correct article usage
a family's
show examples
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families who are
unabale
Correct your spelling
unable
 to provide a safe place
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their children force them to work
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, a friend of mine
was
Correct pronoun usage
who was
show examples
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 talented in Math and Physics had to
withdrawel
Correct your spelling
withdraw
 from school to afford
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential needs
such
Linking Words
 as housing.
As a result
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 will suffer from the number of uneducated youth which will lead to
drop
Correct article usage
a drop
show examples
 in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
. The second significant reason is the
powerment
Correct your spelling
empowerment
 of the
governments
Use synonyms
 to reduce the price of
realstate
Correct your spelling
real estate
. People with low- income are unable to reach the price in most of the urban cities, so as an alternative, they could be provided with houses in rural areas to reduce the
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on countries' economy and
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
. The third
imortant
Correct your spelling
important
 reason is to ensure and maintain
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
.
For instance
Linking Words
, an
under-priviliged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
 person will end up homeless which will lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of homeless people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 will live in
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism will be affected as
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 as
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
. In conclusion, there are multiple factors
support
Correct pronoun usage
that support
show examples
 the idea of providing houses
such
Linking Words
 as
staibilty
Correct your spelling
stability
 and
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
. It is
recommnded
Correct your spelling
recommended
 to provide housing to limit
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
influance
Correct your spelling
influence
 on other aspects and fields.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, 'unabale' should be 'unable' and 'powerment' should be 'empowerment.'
task response
Try to provide more specific examples and details to strengthen your points. You mentioned a friend but could explain more about their situation or how it connects to the overall argument.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to link ideas better and help the reader follow your argument. This will improve your logical flow of ideas.
coherence
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your main points, and the conclusion summarizes them effectively. This will improve your overall structure.
task response
You have a clear opinion that government should provide housing, which is good. It sets the stage for your argument.
task response
You discussed important reasons for providing government housing, such as family stability and safety, which are valuable points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • free
  • housing
  • governments
  • underprivileged
  • afford
  • buy
  • house
  • safe
  • place
  • live
  • need
  • stable
  • home
  • health
  • job
  • opportunities
  • improve
  • lives
  • families
  • children
  • secure
  • environment
  • grow
  • learn
  • living
  • costs
  • economy
  • taxes
  • fund
  • basic
  • need
  • met
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