IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

The issue of social
media
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 has been widely dis’s users .Most
people
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 utilize social
media
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 to communicate with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 and know the latest
news
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.
Therefore
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, it is essential to examine and discuss
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 and demerits of social
medial
Replace the word
media
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. Social
media
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 has widely spread all over the world.
Therefore
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,it has many advantages which
helps
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help
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people
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 to interconnect with others by Whatsapp,
face time
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FaceTime
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, and Zoom.
As a result
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 individuals are able to communicate with their families
eventhough
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even though
 they are far from each other.
However
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, it makes life easier because
people
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 know
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news
Correct article usage
the news
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 very easily and quicker compared to past years because everyone has his phone
on
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in
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 his hand ,so he is able to read the latest
news
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 that
happen in
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is happening
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 all over the world.
For example
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, individuals can know what happen in Iran and America when they are
seating
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sitting
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 at their home.
on the other hand
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, there are numerous drawbacks
of
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
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.
First,
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it is a waste of time, since all
people
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 have it
in
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on
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 their phones.
Consequently
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,
people
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 lose their time in unnecessary things that can be used in something
worth
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worthwhile
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 like reading books or doing physical activities.
In addition
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, mass
media
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 can spread false
news
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 very fast which might affect not only
on
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apply
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country wise
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country-wise
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 but
also
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in
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apply
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personal wise
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personal-wise
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 because it can affect
economy
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the economy
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 of
country
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the country
a country
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 and can affect on mental health of individuals. In my opinion, I totally believe that
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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 of social
media
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 outweigh
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
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 because it not only assists
people
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 to interact with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 but
also
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 helps them during Studying. In conclusion, Social
media
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 is a great tool for communications and
news
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 because it is available for everyone
in
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apply
show examples
anywhere. I encourage
people
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 to use mass
media
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 in
correct
Add an article
the correct
a correct
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 way rather than using it incorrectly .

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main points. Try to give more details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes. Make sure your sentences follow correct rules.
task achievement
You made good points about the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
task achievement
You included personal opinions, which adds depth to your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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