Topic: Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people argue that extreme sports

such

Linking Words

as skydiving and skiing must be banned because they are unsafety.

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, I completely disagree with their view. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why I think so. First of all, those

acitivities

Correct your spelling

activities

are safe whenever you follow the

rules

Use synonyms

and regulations.

The death

Correct article usage

Death

show examples

accidents always happen when

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

do not follow the safety manuals.

For example

Linking Words

, one individual do not implement the checklist

that is

Linking Words

needed before he start skydiving.

As a result

Linking Words

, the

parashute

Correct your spelling

parachute

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not unfold and he

hit

Wrong verb form

hits

show examples

the ground heavily. Like

this

Linking Words

life threaten

Correct your spelling

life-threatening

show examples

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

sometimes occur when someone

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not follow the

rules

Use synonyms

that are

importnt

Correct your spelling

important

for a safe.

Therefore

Linking Words

, whenever you follow the

rules

Use synonyms

, you can enjoy those activities.

Secondly

Linking Words

, those unordinary sports always help me to

refreash

Correct your spelling

refresh

. I sometimes feel

depression

Replace the word

depressed

show examples

when I make a mistake on a job.

However

Linking Words

, once I experience them, I can forget

Change the word

show examples

unhappy

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

and they encourage me to work harder.

Additionally

Linking Words

, those activities make new

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

and

conversation

Fix the agreement mistake

conversations

show examples

with people who have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

similar hobbies are always fun.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I

reccomend

Correct your spelling

recommend

to find

Change the verb form

finding

show examples

some new hobbies. In conclusion, I think those activities told to be dangerous are enjoyable whenever you follow the

rules

Use synonyms

and listen carefully to

an instructors

Correct the article-noun agreement

instructors

an instructor

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is important to make friends with people out of work.

korinySun Jun 22 2025

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Task Achievement

Make sure to provide clear reasons for your opinions and include both sides of the argument. For example, discuss why some people believe extreme sports should be banned.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Use words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition' to guide the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Check your grammar and spelling. Words like 'unsafe' and 'refresh' should be used correctly. Avoid simple mistakes to improve your score.

Positive Highlight

You express strong personal opinions about extreme sports, showing passion for the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Extreme sports
Skydiving
Skiing
Banned
Risks involved
Responsibility
Individual freedoms
Recreational activities
Physical fitness
Mental resilience
Tourism industry
Local economies
Safety regulations
Mandatory training
Psychological growth
Fatality rate
Injury rates
Achievement
Unique benefits
Mitigate risks

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Topic: Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the Olympics Games do not have a role in the 21st Century. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Some people believe that climate has the greatest effect on people's way of life. Other believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

You are organising a surprise party for a friend and want to book a venue for this event. Write a letter to the manager of the venue. - explain the purpose of the party; - suggest the date and time; - inquire about services and facilities available.

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?