IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People say in order to prevent illness and disease, governemt should focus on reducing environmental population and housing problems To what extent do you agree or disagree

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years, the matter of finding a global
language
Use synonyms
 has been widely discussed.
While
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 tourism plays a major role
making
Change preposition
in making
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Use synonyms
English
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the English
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language
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 the most common
one
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 globally, a large number of
people
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 think that
this
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 will negatively impact the local languages as they will be replaced by the most spoken
one
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 like
English
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of speaking
one
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language
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 all over the
world
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. Let us begin with the advantages of having all
people
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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speak
one
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language
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 globally.
One
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 of the main positives is
the
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apply
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easy communication in
business
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. What I mean by
this
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 is that having
people
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talk
Verb problem
speak
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 the same
language
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 in
business
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 leads to
reduce
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reducing
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 the misunderstanding
in
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at
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 work. Take importing products from China to England
for example
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, will
by
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be
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 much more smoothly running if both sides spoke the same
language
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.
Secondly
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,
this
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 will positively help those
people
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 who want to travel. Passengers in the airports will find it more helpful if everyone
used
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uses
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 the same
language
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, it will not be easy for an
English
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 speaker to communicate with a hostess who
communicate
Change the verb form
communicates
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 only in
French
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the French
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language
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.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, I believe that in many cases a common
language
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such
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 as
English
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 is required to make the
business
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 and travel experiences easier for
people
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.
However
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,
people
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 should pay attention to the cons of using
this
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 widely. Turning to the other side of the argument, a common
language
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 may cause
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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huge
identity
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 issues. Many
people
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 who work in foreign countries and use their
language
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 tend to forget their own.
This
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 often leads to
Correct article usage
the lose
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lose
Replace the word
loss
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their
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of their
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 cultural
identity
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 as
language
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 is an essential component of the nations’ culture.
For example
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, workers from India who migrated to Canada more
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 ten years ago are gradually feeling disconnected
to
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from
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 their culture because of the rare use of their
language
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, which will cause them by time
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
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 their
identity
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. Another problem is limiting the opportunities to learn new languages.
In other words
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, travelling around the
world
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 should broaden the linguistic experience for tourists.
People
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 gain a lot of knowledge when they meet others who
talk
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speak
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different
Add an article
a different
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language
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. For those
reasons
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reasons,
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 I think
a
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apply
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using a common
language
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 all around the
world
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 would cause serious
identity
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 and knowledge problems.
To conclude
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, there are both positives and negatives for speaking a global
language
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.
Although
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 talking the same
language
Use synonyms
 around the
world
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 could have a great impact on
business
Use synonyms
 and tourism in terms of communication, I believe that the cons of losing
identity
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 and limiting
the
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apply
show examples
linguistic knowledge are more serious factors to be considered.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but try to make your thesis statement more specific to outline the main points of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some of your paragraphs could be better linked. Use transition words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in conclusion' to improve flow and connection between ideas.
Task Achievement
While you provide good examples, make sure to explain how they support your main points more clearly. This helps with clarity.
Task Achievement
You have identified both pros and cons, which gives a balanced view of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples is relevant and supports your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mitigate
  • urban heat islands
  • green infrastructure
  • regulations
  • emissions
  • renewable energy sources
  • overcrowding
  • hygiene
  • contaminated sites
  • sustainability
  • urban planning
  • industrial pollution
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • living conditions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: