some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research,business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is considered by some people that sharing
information
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related to education and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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is beneficial,
while
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others argue that some kind of
information
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needs to be private from the public for safety reasons. In my opinion, it is impossible to share all types of
information
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,
such
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as military plans.
To begin
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with, there are many advantages of sharing knowledge, especially in the education sector.
In other words
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, when scientists around the world exchange their discoveries with each other, they can develop them effectively.
In addition
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, collecting different perspectives could make the development process much easier and faster.
For example
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, in 2020, several
health care
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healthcare
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companies from different countries cooperated to find a vaccine that can treat patients who suffer from covid-19, and
this
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cooperation helped to solve the problem in
short
Add an article
a short
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time. Another point to consider is not all
information
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is allowed to be shared,
such
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as security and safety data. It is
also
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possible to say that providing
this
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information
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can even harm and threaten a whole country.
Moreover
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, when a country removes the cover from military plans, other countries will take them for their sake and benefit from them in any future conflicts.
For instance
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, the reason why America won against Japan in WW2, was because Japan ignored protecting their private
information
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from separating, that based on many historical articles. In conclusion,
although
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sharing
information
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offers a great chance to improve new discoveries by scientists working together from different backgrounds, it has consequences that might lead to the destruction of a country barrier.

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task achievement
Make your introduction more clear by stating both views clearly. Mention your opinion more clearly too.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words like 'however,' 'for example,' or 'on the other hand' to improve the flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or details to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have presented both views and given your own opinion, which is good for task response.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of sharing knowledge in science are clear and relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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