IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table show where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table show where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
The table illustrates the police budget
sources
Use synonyms
 in Britain for two years 2017 and 2018 ,
adding on
Verb problem
and
show examples
 the pie charts determine how the money was spent exactly . Overview , The majority of cash
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 spent mostly
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 salaries (officers and staff ). The finances
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 funded through different
sources
Use synonyms
 ; National Government , Local taxes , and other
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as grants . The total funds in 2017 were 304.7
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 ,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased to 316.8
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2018. The National
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
donated 175.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 to the police department in 2017 and 177.8
milion
Correct your spelling
million
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the following year . Local taxes offered support to the UK police , giving 91.2
million
Use synonyms
 to the department in 2017 and 102.3
million
Use synonyms
 in the next year.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , other
sources
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 contributed to the sum of funds
also
Linking Words
 faced a slight increase from 38 to 38.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
. In 2017 the highest percentage of money was spent on
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 salaries (75%) followed by buildings and transport budget (17%)
then
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 small proportion was spent on technology ( 8%). Compared to the later year , the amount used in salaries decreased to 69% ,
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 used in buildings and transport increased to 14% , and the money used in technology
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
 constant in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, million, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • fiscal year
  • government grants
  • local taxes
  • police force
  • patrol division
  • detective units
  • traffic control
  • administration expenses
  • operational costs
  • capital expenditure
  • revenue streams
  • expenditure distribution
  • financial resources
  • public safety
  • crime prevention
  • budgetary constraints
  • funding shortfall
  • budget surplus
  • financial planning
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