IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that professionals should
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they received their education. And some
people
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
 think like that,they think that employees have the right to choose where they will
work
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.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning, I disagree with the first point of view, that professionals
don’t
Use synonyms
 have a choice where to
work
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 and they must
work
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 in
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 where they have training.
People
Use synonyms
 have
this
Linking Words
 opinion because now there are problems with the number of workers like doctors and engineers in any
country
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, and
people
Use synonyms
 are worried about it.
For example
Linking Words
,there are a lot of good doctors
get
Correct pronoun usage
who get
show examples
 an education in our
country
Use synonyms
 now, but a lot of them want to
work
Use synonyms
 in any other
country
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 as their salaries are higher.But because of
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 our
country
Use synonyms
 can stand without doctors.It can be scary for
people
Use synonyms
, so they have
this
Linking Words
 opinion about professionals.
However
Linking Words
, I think I agree with the second opinion that
people
Use synonyms
 should have a choice where to
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 mind is followed by
people
Use synonyms
 because it doesn’t matter what is happening in any
country
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
's wishes are more important.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if
people
Use synonyms
 will think about their
country
Use synonyms
's needs and
don’t
Use synonyms
 think about their own wishes it can have bad consequences.If someone
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 forced to do something they
don’t
Use synonyms
 want,in our way
work
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
a country
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 they
don’t
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 want,it can damage their mental and physical health. In conclusion, I want to say that
people
Use synonyms
 should do what they want and
work
Use synonyms
 where they want.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 we can’t say that some opinions are wrong, no both of them are right, it has a different view
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 life.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
show examples
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
herself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 more than
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
Use synonyms
 and
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
wont
Correct your spelling
want
show examples
 to take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other
people
Use synonyms
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 their
country
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Add more examples to support your points and make them clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, like 'firstly', 'however', and 'for example'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion right from the beginning.
task achievement
You express your opinion clearly and provide arguments for both views.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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