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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. (8.26pm)

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. (8.26pm)
The line graph presents the results of a survey on the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 moved to the capital city in a certain country between 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, moving for studies showed an upward trend, whilst moving for work was the most common reason, despite a slight decline.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 migrating for family or friends and adventure purposes became the least common motivation. In terms of employment, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 mentioning work-related purposes increased from 60,000 in 2000 to 90,000 in 2010. A similar trend
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
was seen
show examples
 in those moving for study, which rose from 25,000 to just over 50,000. Notably, in 2015, both categories – work and study – recorded the same result, at approximately 95,000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from 2000 to 2005, there was a small gap between those
migrated
Correct pronoun usage
who migrated
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 family or friends and those who moved for adventure reasons, accounting for more than 10,000, with family or friends being slightly higher. The total number of
people
Use synonyms
 citing family-related continued to rise, reaching 22,000 in 2010 and remaining constant
thereafter
Linking Words
. Meanwhile, individuals who mentioned adventure as their main reason tended to be stable with an insignificant increase, accounting for 15,000 in 2015.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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