IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Life today has a rapid rhythm, unlike in the past, which was slow in everything, like transport, communication and economy.
Such
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 a development makes life easier and faster;
hence
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,
globalisation
Use synonyms
 makes the
world
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 like a small village.
Consequently
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,
this
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 can affect the behaviour and thoughts of
people
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; they might be the same
due to
Linking Words
 their exposure to one another. I believe that because of the innate in
people
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, they will imitate each other. In
this
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 essay, I will give reasons and examples of why I totally agree with the statement. I believe in the statement for two main reasons. First and foremost,
due to
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 social media and various kinds of communication, populations will get used to seeing different forms from other cultures.
As a result
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 of that, individuals will try other things from other countries, like food, music, and clothes, which, eventually, after many years, will transform the
world
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 into an advanced stage of
globalisation
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. To illustrate that, trends are not occurring locally anymore; trends today go viral across the
world
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,
also
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 we receive news from other countries.
Secondly
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, online education has become the first destination for many, as anyone who wants to learn new skills or obtain new information, easy access to the internet gives
people
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 the right materials for their purposes.
For instance
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, YouTube is a website that contains a significant number of videos for literally everything, educational videos, news, music, and e.t.c.
This
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 is just one example of what we can see on the internet, rather than Artificial Intelligence, which can provide impossible things for
people
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. To sum it up,
although
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 part of
globalisation
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 has already happened, in the near future we will see far more than what we see now. The swift rhythm of life makes me believe that the
world
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 is really a small village
due to
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 a lot of aspects that support
globalisation
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.

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Task Response
Your introduction is clear, but try to paraphrase the question more effectively to show a better understanding of different opinions.
Task Response
Your main points are valid, but they could be strengthened with more examples or details to better support your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which will help improve the logical flow of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs, such as 'for example,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion.'
Task Response
You provide a clear opinion on the topic, stating that you totally agree with the statement.
Task Response
You use relevant examples from modern trends to support your points, which adds depth to your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global village
  • transform
  • homogenization
  • diversity
  • cultural identity
  • local markets
  • consumer behavior
  • global connectivity
  • social media
  • cultural movements
  • individuality
  • niche markets
  • interconnectedness
  • economic impact
  • information access
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