Some businesses now say that no one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it also takes away some of our freedom. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons.

I don'
t
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see any reason that
shlould
Correct your spelling
should
make smoking in public places permissible.
smoking
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Smoking
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doesn'
t
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only
harms
Correct subject-verb agreement
harm
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the person who
smoke
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smokes
show examples
constantly, It
also
Linking Words
affect
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affects
show examples
other
people
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around them.
This
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essay totally agrees with prohibiting smoking in offices and public places. In real life we always hear
people
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talking about
freedom
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, and how
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
no one
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
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they don'
t
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have enough
freedom
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to practice their rights in public.The problem is everyone
want
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wants
show examples
to
havethe
Correct your spelling
have the
right to do
what ever
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whatever
show examples
makes them feel better without thinking
how
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about how
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it would affect the public and without judgement or frightened of being conducted,but
freedom
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doesn'
t
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mean that your personal interest is always above the others.
Additionally
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,
people
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around smokers can be children, elderly
people
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,infants,
especially
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and especially
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individuals who
struggles
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struggle
show examples
with health problems.
Specefically
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Specifically
problems with the respiratory system,
For example
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,asthma.I have
also
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heard that
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people
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for people
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who
inhales
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inhale
show examples
smoke-filled air,there's a huge possibility to struggle with chronic diseases in the future.
To conclude
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,I'm not referring to
oppress
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oppressing
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others
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others'
other's
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freedom
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and
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
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them from
practicing
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practising
show examples
their rights.I'm just pointing out to think of other
peoples'
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people's
show examples
health and they have the right to practice
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as much as smokers do.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction to show your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to help guide the reader through your main points. This will improve the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your arguments, helping to make your points more convincing.
task achievement
You clearly express your opinion against smoking in public, which is a strong start.
task achievement
You highlight the health risks of smoking, which can connect with readers' concerns.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • restrictions
  • adverse health impacts
  • secondhand smoke
  • lung cancer
  • heart disease
  • respiratory conditions
  • inclusive environment
  • exacerbated
  • impinge
  • greater good
  • healthcare costs
  • productive workforce
  • designated smoking areas
  • compromise
  • public awareness campaigns
  • punitive
  • strategy
  • lifestyle choices
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