IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The students should choose their studies not based on their personal
interests
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, but on the type of
work
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 they can get. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the real vocation and motivation to
study
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arises
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arise
show examples
 from what
interests
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 them. Many
people
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 who enter university, do so with the hope of being able to learn what
interests
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 them and
work
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 in something that motivates them. A
study
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 by Columbia University
,
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apply
show examples
 showed that 2 out of 3 students who dropped out of a program, did so because they didn't feel truly motivated.
In addition
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, many young
people
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 are pressured by their families to
study
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 a
career
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 that will ensure them a good workplace
instead
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 of
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study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
 what they really like. A survey of 18-year-olds in Washington
,
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apply
show examples
 indicated that most young
people
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 chose their careers based on the social status they would gain later on,
for example
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, in terms of
work
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, salary, and benefits. Personally, I left my first degree a few months after starting it, because I chose it based on future opportunities
instead
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 of what truly interested me. I believe that the most important thing
,
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apply
show examples
 is to choose a degree
that is
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 in line with the student's
interests
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 and
also
Linking Words
, has an outlet in the working world. Young
people
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 can feel very passionate about something, but if it doesn't have a field of
work
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 or the future becomes uncertain, it's better to reconsider following that path
,
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apply
show examples
 or look for a
career
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that is
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 related to their interest and has a job market. In conclusion,
people
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 who want to
study
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 should choose their
career
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 based on their
interests
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 and motivations, as long as they choose a
career
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 that
also
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 allows them to find
work
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 in the future.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your main argument in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Include more examples to support your main points.
relevant specific examples
You provided personal experience to illustrate your point.
coherent ideas
You addressed the importance of interest and motivation in choosing a career.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • course of study
  • job prospects
  • market demands
  • employment opportunities
  • financial security
  • personal fulfillment
  • innovation
  • job market
  • career advancement
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • adaptability
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