Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctors. Do you think is a positive or negative development .

In recent times , it has been more common for people with health issues are
chooses
Wrong verb form
choose
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alternative medicine
and
Correct word choice
apply
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treatments and therapies rather than going to the doctor. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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this
Linking Words
is a negative development because they are risking their life.
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
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essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
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will look at
this
Linking Words
topic in detail and support my point of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
,when
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rely on natural sources and remedies that do not have any scientific proof , so that means patients may end up wasting
a
Correct article usage
apply
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valuable time that should be spent on addressing the root cause of their illness. As a repercussion , the people who suffer from cancer will
riske
Correct your spelling
risk
their lives because the tumour will just get bigger and worse which would be too late to heal.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the enhancement of
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
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technology plays a big role that increasing the number of patients using alternative medicine and treatments on social media platforms.
This
Linking Words
means
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due to
Change preposition
apply
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that you will be more likely to get
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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pieces of information or the wrong cure .
For example
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, there was a woman who suffered from a fever
instead
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of going to the doctor she decided to search online to heal her condition but it just got worse which cost her life. In conclusion, having looked at the topic in detail,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the increased use of alternative medicine and treatments should be considered as a negative development
due to
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the risk to community lives.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it well in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion'.
Task Achievement
Try to give more specific examples that are clearly related to your main points.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is important for a good essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is good, with clear paragraphs for different ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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