IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor . Do you think this is a positive or negative development ¿

In recent times , it has been much more common for people with health issues are
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 natural remedies and therapies rather than going to the doctor. What do you is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a good or bad improvement¿ I believe,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development because they are risking their lives.
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
 essay I will look at
this
Linking Words
 topic in detail and support my point of view. One main cause that
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 my point
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 the people who rely on natural remedies which do not
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 any scientific proof, in terms of that they will just lose time and the condition could get worse .
This
Linking Words
 is because it not only might not be
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 could cause severe side effects.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 who suffer from cancer if they just rely
in
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
 natural resources the tumour will grow bigger and bigger which will be hard to control it. Another reason why it is a negative development
Linking Words
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to the versus remedies in the media and
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
 that fake their identity
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are doctors and make money by creating a brand that sells harbels and natural products, so that would create
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 issue
instead
Linking Words
 of addressing it . A good example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 a
women which
Fix the agreement mistake
woman who
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a serious health problem but the fake doctor was giving her a lot of products and medicines which she
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not need and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fortunately she died because she
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 too
things
Correct word choice
many things
show examples
 if they
be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 to gather it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be poussin. In conclusion, having looked at the topic in detail,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the increased use of alternative medicine and treatments should be considered as a negative development
due to
Linking Words
 the risk to community lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas, such as 'for example', 'in addition', and 'however'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that clearly support your main points.
task achievement
You have a clear position stating that this trend is negative.
task achievement
You provide examples to support your points, which helps clarify your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: