IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people say that companies should give importance to their employees, whereas others say that they should give importance to customers. discus both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 should give importance to their
employees
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 ,
while
Linking Words
 others think
customers
Use synonyms
 are more important . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss both sides before presenting my opinion. Many people say that
customers
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 are an important part of any
business
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 , without
customers
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companies
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 cannot make money and survive which can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to
business
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 failure . If
companies
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 provide high-quality service and good products ,
customers
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 will return back and tell others .
This
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 grow and succeed . That
why
Add a missing verb
is why
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 some people think satisfying
customers
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 should be the main goal.
On the other hand
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 , those who support giving priority to
employees
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 ,
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
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 that they are the ones who do the work , serve the
customers
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 , and help the
business
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 run smoothly . If workers are not happy , they may
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not do their job well and that will lead to bad customer service .
For instance
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 , if a
company
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 treat its staff badly ,
employees
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 may leave or not take care of the work which will reflect negatively on the
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company
Change noun form
company's
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 productivity. In my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
 are the backbone of any
business
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 and
companies
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 should give priority to them. If
companies
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 take care of their
employees
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 first , the
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
 will treat
customers
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 better so, the
company
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 benefits
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
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 the end. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
customers
Use synonyms
 are important for any
business
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 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
employees
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 come first. Happy
employees
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 will
results
Change the verb form
result
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 in better customer
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
,
satisfed
Correct your spelling
satisfied
customers
Use synonyms
 , and
overall
Linking Words
business
Use synonyms
 success.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide clear examples to support your points. Examples make your ideas stronger and easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use connectors like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to make your ideas clear and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your view well.
task achievement
The points you made about employees and customers are relevant and show you understand both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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