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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. .

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. .
The line graph illustrates the tourist population of a particular Caribbean
island
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 from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
visitors
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stayed
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
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 on
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island
Correct article usage
the island
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 hovered roughly around 0.7
million
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 and 1.5
million
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,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of people who stayed on cruise ships increased considerably.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the total population visited the Caribbean
island
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 was rising significantly. As depicted in the graph,
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct article usage
the visitors
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 population
stayed
Verb problem
apply
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on
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island
Add an article
the island
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 remained constant at 0.7
million
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 until it saw a rapid rise to 1.5
million
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 in 2013. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of tourists
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
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 on cruise ships fluctuated between 0.3
million
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 and 0.5
million
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. After that,
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of cruise
ships
Change the noun form
ship
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visitors
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 surged to 2
million
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 in 2017
by
Change preposition
apply
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exceeding that of
island
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visitors
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 in the middle of 2015.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
island
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visitors
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kept
Verb problem
remained
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 the same between 2013 and 2015, following a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 decline in 2016 but
recovered
Wrong verb form
recovering
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 quickly in 2017.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words island, number, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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