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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons here relevant.

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over six months in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons here relevant.
The line graph illustrates the inquiries rate received by the Tourist Information office in one city from
January
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 to June
in
Change preposition
apply
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2011.
Requests
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 were received in person, by letter
or
Correct word choice
apply
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e-mail, or by telephone.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of questions received by telephone and in person increased throughout the whole period,
whereasthe
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whereas the
 popularity of applications made by letter or email witnessed a decline. The in-person category, despite being the least popular type of
inquiries
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inquiry
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 at the beginning of the period, became the most frequent in the final month. In
January
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, questions received in-person stood at 400, and in the next two months witnessed a dramatic growth, doubling to 800. In
March
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, the number of
requests
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 surged, reaching its peak at almost 1,900
requests
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 by the final month. Telephone type of
requests
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 generally increased, but experienced slight fluctuations from
January
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 to
March
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, leveling off at 1,000 calls in
March
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. From April to June rose sharply, reaching 1,600 calls. Inquiries received by letter or e-mail stood at approximately 800 in
January
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 and demonstrated a steady decrease in popularity until
March
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. From
March
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 to May,
this
Linking Words
 figure plummeted, reaching its nadir and stabilized at 400
requests
Use synonyms
 by June.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words january, requests, march with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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