IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compariosns where relevant. Aruzhan

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compariosns where relevant. Aruzhan
The line graph
demonstartes
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 the percentage of visitors who travelled to Caribbean
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
 for the
years
Use synonyms
 2010 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, the presented
figure
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who stayed in different areas
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the highest number of them was from
Total
Correct article usage
the Total
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 of visitors who stayed on cruise ships and the amenities on the isle kept going in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuation for the time recorded. The
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of people who chose to spend their vacation on Caribbean
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
achievied
Correct your spelling
achieved
 its peak at 1,500,000 in 2013.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 no challenges to
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
this
Linking Words
 peak percentage at 2,000,000 for more
two
Change preposition
than two
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 (2014, 2015)
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same state. But, the
figure
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
, who rested
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
, began to decline progressively from 1,500,000 to 1,300,000 in 2016, albeit briefly, before rising again. Numbers of
tourists
Use synonyms
 in both
years
Use synonyms
 2012 and 2016 accounted for identical shares, showing only 1,300,000
of
Change preposition
out of
show examples
 4,000,000. In
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2013 the significance
figure
Use synonyms
 of customers demonstrated
score
Correct article usage
a score
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 500,000. Since
then
Linking Words
, there
was
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
show examples
 climb in
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 who stayed on special cruises over the period. As the
years
Use synonyms
 passed,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 increased quickly, reaching its peak at 2,000,000 in 2017.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 2011
figure
Use synonyms
 of visitors staying on cruise ships rose moderately,
albiet
Correct your spelling
albeit
 small, before declining again
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 300,000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, figure, tourists with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: