2.Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that their success is

due to

Linking Words

luck

Use synonyms

rather than their own efforts.

However

Linking Words

, I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

view. I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that only determined and diligent people can succeed in anything.

Hard- working

Correct your spelling

Hard-working

show examples

people often achieve their goals.

For example

Linking Words

, Steve Jobs spent thousands of hours coding and researching to create the wonderful Macintosh operating system that we use today. Another clear success story

due to

Linking Words

dertermination

Correct your spelling

determination

is Nick Vujicic, an Australian motivational speaker who suffered from a rare disease that caused him to lose all four of his limbs. Despite his limblessness, Vuijcic graduated from university with a double major in

accounding

Correct your spelling

accounting

and finance; started a family and now travels around the world to give motivational talks.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,a small factor is

aluck

Correct your spelling

luck

to determine success

.first

Correct your spelling

First

of all,one cannot rely on

luck

Use synonyms

alone to become successful.

secondly

Linking Words

luck

Use synonyms

only matters some of the time.

For example

Linking Words

,winning the lottery is purely

due to

Linking Words

luck

Use synonyms

because it does not require any effort.It is purely based on

luck

Use synonyms

howevert

Correct your spelling

however

,one cannot win the lottery for the rest of his life. In short,

fofall

Correct your spelling

for all

the reasons I have stated above, I strongly believe that to achieve goals in life,one must be extremely determined and hardworking to pursue their passion to the end.

quynhtranhbhThu Jun 26 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to add clearer links between your ideas. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Always check for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'belive' instead of 'believe' and 'dertermination' instead of 'determination'.

task achievement

Provide a little more detail in your examples to strengthen your argument and show clear connections between hard work and success.

task achievement

You have a clear opinion and provide examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger.

coherence and cohesion

You present a balanced view by mentioning luck, even though you believe hard work is more important. This adds depth to your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

diligence
consistent effort
inherent talent
honing skills
external factors
upbringing
social connections
economic background
right place at the right time
contributing factor
conjunction
success
achievements
endeavors
fortune
serendipity
determinants
efficacy

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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