2.Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that their success is
due to
Linking Words
luck
Use synonyms
rather than their own efforts.
However
Linking Words
, I completely disagree with
this
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view. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that only determined and diligent people can succeed in anything.
Hard- working
Correct your spelling
Hard-working
show examples
people often achieve their goals.
For example
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, Steve Jobs spent thousands of hours coding and researching to create the wonderful Macintosh operating system that we use today. Another clear success story
due to
Linking Words
dertermination
Correct your spelling
determination
is Nick Vujicic, an Australian motivational speaker who suffered from a rare disease that caused him to lose all four of his limbs. Despite his limblessness, Vuijcic graduated from university with a double major in
accounding
Correct your spelling
accounting
and finance; started a family and now travels around the world to give motivational talks.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,a small factor is
aluck
Correct your spelling
luck
to determine success
.first
Correct your spelling
First
of all,one cannot rely on
luck
Use synonyms
alone to become successful.
secondly
Linking Words
,
luck
Use synonyms
only matters some of the time.
For example
Linking Words
,winning the lottery is purely
due to
Linking Words
luck
Use synonyms
because it does not require any effort.It is purely based on
luck
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,
howevert
Correct your spelling
however
,one cannot win the lottery for the rest of his life. In short,
fofall
Correct your spelling
for all
the reasons I have stated above, I strongly believe that to achieve goals in life,one must be extremely determined and hardworking to pursue their passion to the end.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to add clearer links between your ideas. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Always check for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'belive' instead of 'believe' and 'dertermination' instead of 'determination'.
task achievement
Provide a little more detail in your examples to strengthen your argument and show clear connections between hard work and success.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and provide examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
You present a balanced view by mentioning luck, even though you believe hard work is more important. This adds depth to your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
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