Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to child's development as other subject, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

At present, some people think art classes are essential. So it should be compulsory in high school. In
this
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essay, I totally agree, the two
porint
Correct your spelling
points
of view will be argued. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand, I agree. The arts are essential for physical, financial, educational, social, and psychological well-being.
Firstly
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, in physical terms, if you are drawing daily, it improves hand skills.
Secondly
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, in finance, the more you draw, the more money you collect.
Thirdly
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, in education, because you are painting, you will improve your knowledge of artists. Fourthly, in social settings, if you go to the gallery twice a week, you will increase your social relationships.
Finally
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, in psychology,
while
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you are painting, you will
have
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be in
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a good mood.
On the other hand
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, high school is crucial to everyone's life. It is
life
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a life
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or death matter.
Additionally
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, some students did not have art skills, so they
will
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did
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not receive high scores. They will not have the opportunity to college.
However
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, the students who have excellent skills will get high scores. And will
has
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have
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high
Add an article
a high
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opportunity to college. In conclusion,
while
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the art is good for multi-skills, it will damage your
your
Remove the redundancy
apply
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future work. We need to rethink
about
Change preposition
apply
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this
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issue,
additionally
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read more information about the impact of including it in high
schools rate
Fix the agreement mistake
school rates
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.

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task achievement
Make sure each point you make strongly supports your main idea. Some points need more detail to connect well to the main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words to show the relationship between your ideas. This will help your essay flow better and be easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling to avoid mistakes. This will make your writing clearer and more professional.
task achievement
You raise important points about the benefits of art classes in physical and psychological terms.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • critical thinking
  • emotional expression
  • mental well-being
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • cultural awareness
  • fine motor skills
  • inclusivity
  • artistic skills
  • balanced curriculum
  • holistic education
  • constructive outlet
  • academic pressure
  • brain stimulation
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