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Writing Samples
Band 5

Technology have developed very fast in the past 100 years. However, some people think that technology progress has brought negative effect on humanity. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The cutting edges have developed rapidly in the one century. But some members of society think that
this
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 tendency causes several drawbacks
on
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to
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 the population.
In contrast
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, modern technologies have a lot of positive results on human life, including : facilitating communication and reducing
time
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 on complex tasks among individuals.
Therefore
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, these benefits as evidence give me a chance to disagree with
this
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 concept. In
favor
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favour
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 of the strong relationship argument, new devices
such
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 as phones and tablets indeed increase communication regardless of any distance between individuals. In recent years, all organizations which engage in producing technological items have provided broad opportunities to their customers. Owing to new advancements, people who stay far away from their relatives or friends can easily make contact and share their information with each other.
Hence
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,
this
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 advantage is accepted as a worthy aspect by most people. To illustrate
this
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, a student who studies abroad and stays far from his family makes contact with his parents to
deliver
Verb problem
address
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 all
problems
Correct article usage
the problems
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 that he encounters.
As a result
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, at the same
time
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, he can solve issues and keep in touch with his family.
On the other hand
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, another benefit of the technologies is reducing
time
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 on difficult works
such
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 as math and logic exercises. Today, both students and employees suffer to reach their maximum potential at school and work, respectively. Because they are exposed to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a lot of things within a short period
so
Correct word choice
apply
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new advancements like artificial intelligence solve them accurately. They just enter some details about tasks to programs and require an answer immediately.
Therefore
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, it causes a good
time
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 management skill among individuals.
For example
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, based on a report by Times journal, nowadays, students use ChatGpt which is a well-known example of AI, they only add prompts and get an answer within a concise period.
As a result
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, they have more
time
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 to engage in other essential tasks through
this
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 device. In conclusion, the technologies have improved in the past 100 years. It brings several positive aspects
such
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 as facilitating communication and declining
time
Use synonyms
 on complex projects.

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task achievement
Your introduction relates to the topic, but it can be clearer. Try to state your opinion in a single sentence. This helps the reader understand your view right away.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs have clear main ideas. Each paragraph should support your opinion directly to make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your points. This makes your ideas stronger and shows deeper thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Check your sentence structure and word choice. Some sentences are a bit long and can be confusing. Short and simple sentences can help make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
You made a good effort to present both sides of the argument, showing that you understand the topic well.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help illustrate your points about technology.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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