IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain why you want to take time off work -give details of the amount of time you need -suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Dear Manager, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request
from
Change preposition
apply
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you
for approving
Change preposition
to approve
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 my
leaves
Fix the agreement mistake
leave
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 for a short time. I am Rupinder Kaur who works as a customer service in your company. My
father
Use synonyms
 is suffering from chest pain and Doctor has suggested a heart bypass surgery on 25th
may
Capitalize the word
May
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. My
father
Use synonyms
 will
admit
Wrong verb form
be admitted
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in
Change preposition
to
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an
Correct article usage
a
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hospial
Correct your spelling
hospital
 on 23rd May. I am
single
Correct article usage
a single
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 child of my parent. So I will have to take leave
for taking
Change preposition
to take
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 care of my
father
Use synonyms
. I need leave from 23rd May to 13th June. After surgery, my
father
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 will need constant supervision for 20 days. My colleague Raman Singh will do my work in my absence. He
knowns
Replace the word
knows
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 very well about my duties.
Last
Linking Words
 year, he
works
Wrong verb form
worked
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 in
customer
Add an article
the customer
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 service department. I already talked to him and He has agreed to help me in
this
Linking Words
 situation. I am looking for positive consideration. Yours sincerely, Rupinder Kaur.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include a more formal closing, such as 'Thank you for considering my request.'
task achievement
Clarify some phrases to improve understanding, like 'the Doctor suggested' instead of 'Doctor has suggested'.
task achievement
You explained the reason for your leave clearly, which is important.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of specific dates helps to clarify the timeframe needed for your leave.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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