IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages?

It is suggested by some specialists that schools should focus on teaching foreign
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language
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languages
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 to the
students
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at
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in
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 primary classes
instead
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 of waiting till secondary
school
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.
This
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 approach has both pros and cons which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs but
according to
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 me, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. To commence with, there are multifaceted advantages for
children
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 who learn languages
such
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 as English or French
at
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in
show examples
 their early
years
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 of
school
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.
Firstly
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,
familarity
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familiarity
to
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with
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 other languages in primary
school
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 improves the fluency of
students
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 in speaking
other
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another language
other languages
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language
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.
For instance
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,
children
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 who speak English from their pre-
school
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years
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 until their young age will be able to speak more fluently and clearly in that
language
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 because they are exposed to the
language
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 since their early
years
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.
Secondly
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, primary
school
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students
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 are more
acceptable
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accepting
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to
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of
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 changes and will learn more efficiently.
In other words
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, in early
years
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 of age ,
children
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 are on the most crucial stage of development and whatever they learn at
this
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 phase shapes their upcoming
years
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.
For instance
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,
children
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 will easily learn phrases, vocabulary and sentence formation at
their
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an
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 early age in comparison to secondary
school
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 because their minds have been prepared to speak in
second
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a second
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language
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 since their childhood.
Therefore
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, it is important for schools to teach
students
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the
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a
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 foreign
language
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 before secondary classes.
On the other hand
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, despite
of
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apply
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the advantages, there are disadvantages
of
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to
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 implementing foreign courses in the
school
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 curriculum in the
intial
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initial
years
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 of
school
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.
This
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 phenomenon leads to distancing a student from their native
language
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. To elaborate, if
children
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will
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apply
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start learning
the
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apply
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other languages from the beginning of their schooling, they will not be able to communicate in their national or cultural
language
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 which
consequently
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lead
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leads
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 to
deatachment
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detachment
 from the culture and traditions which shapes the values of a human being.
To conclude
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, though the
children
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 would experience a distance from their native
language
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, learning
foreign
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a foreign
show examples
 speaking from the initial
years
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 of
school
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 helps in increasing fluency and acceptance
to
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of
show examples
 change.
Thus
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, the pros of
this
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 approach are more than the cons.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick to it. This will help your readers follow your argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas with transition words like 'however', 'moreover', and 'for instance' to make your writing flow smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples clearly support your points. Some examples could be more specific to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify the connection between your ideas in the conclusion to reinforce your main argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is a good start.
task achievement
You provide good reasons for learning languages early, showing clear advantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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