in many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with the Academic subjects, discussed the effect of this trend

Many nations

concerned

Add a missing verb

are concerned

show examples

that

sports

Use synonyms

and fitness classes are taken over by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academic

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

. My point of view is that

sports

Use synonyms

classes

are played

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

role in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student life.

To begin

Linking Words

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

many schools are only focusing on Academic subjects,

however

Linking Words

, if

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

is not good

Change preposition

show examples

studies, he makes

Correct article usage

a carrier

show examples

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

fees.

For instance

Linking Words

Indian

Add an article

the Indian

an Indian

show examples

cricket team. There are many players who are not taking admission

Change preposition

show examples

higher studies. They only focus on their games

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

or playing

sports

Use synonyms

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to teach

team

Add an article

the team

show examples

about teamwork, leadership, and self-confidence, and

also

Linking Words

prepare for challenges which we face in our life

on the other hand

Linking Words

, manage students are

studying

Wrong verb form

study

show examples

continuously for 5 to 6 hours daily. Their mental health is

disturb

Wrong verb form

disturbed

show examples

after

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

years.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many students are studying over the computer. They become fatty

from

Change preposition

show examples

his body. So if a school

foster

Correct subject-verb agreement

fosters

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

and

Correct your spelling

show examples

environment that

deprived

Wrong verb form

deprives

show examples

students

to give

Verb problem

show examples

proper physical training, they may have

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

less stress or

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

weight easily Conclusion should

also

Linking Words

give

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

to physical activities because many of them are not good

Change preposition

show examples

studies, so they are the best in their

sports

Use synonyms

and give peace or stressfree to the student edition to become fit from his body

yatin

Jun 27, 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction should clearly state your main idea. Try to elaborate a bit more on your viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that paragraphs flow logically. Use linking words to connect your ideas better.

task achievement

Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.

task achievement

You addressed the topic and provided examples.

task achievement

Some good points about the importance of sports were mentioned.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

210 words

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in many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with the Academic subjects, discussed the effect of this trend

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of old people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are thought to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that companies and individuals should pay to clear up the pollution they produce and that the government should not pay for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree.