The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
The graph illustrates the percentage of people
in and
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over 65 from 1940 to 2040 in
Japan
Use synonyms
,Sweden and
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
USA.
Overall
Linking Words
,the proportion of elderly people increases in each country between 1940 and 2040.But in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
is anticipated to exceed the other 2
countries
Use synonyms
in the future. Between 1940 and 1980,
American
Check wording
the number of Americans
show examples
aged 65 or over increased
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
9 to 15,followed by Sweden rising from 7 to
13
Punctuation problem
13,
show examples
while
Linking Words
Japanese
Check wording
the number of Japanese
show examples
in or over 65
Correct word order
aged 65 or over
show examples
declined from 5 to 3 and remained the same.Change had happened since 1980.Sweden's percentage exceeded The USA and increased to 20 that was its peak in around 2015.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
rose from 3 to roughly 7 over the period from 1980 to
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
show examples
while
Linking Words
America fluctuated around 15. Looking into the future,all the
countries
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
expected to increase.
However
Linking Words
,the sudden rise in
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
aged 65 and over in
Japan
Use synonyms
is predicted to
25
Verb problem
reach 25%
show examples
in approximately 2030,which will make
Japan
Use synonyms
's percentage the highest among all
countries
Use synonyms
.From 2030 to
2040
Punctuation problem
2040,
show examples
three
countries
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
expected to rise in parallel.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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